You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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