Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
you never un-have a 4some
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
