forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
