I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
