I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
