The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
