So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
