i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
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