We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
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