it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Randomize
