I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
