You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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