They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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