Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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