We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize