kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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