It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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