Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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