How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize