i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
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I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
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oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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