Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I fill condoms, not promises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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