I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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