we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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