I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Randomize
