I am spending my child support on dildos
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
