Her vagina should come with caution tape.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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