we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
