the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
