I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
