there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
