just come out here and I will go home with you...
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
