Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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