So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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