Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
