Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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