trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
