its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
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