So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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