Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
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