I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
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