I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
