What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
