Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
