So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
