I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
