she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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