She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
tell me about the fingering
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