my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Randomize
