will power is for people who don't want to get laid
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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