If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
