what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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