OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
