I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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