He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
