I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
it glows. i had to have it.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
