I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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