??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
