Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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