Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
