May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
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