O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
