I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
honey bunches of taint.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize