hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize