Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize