Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
